From the time I was a child, I can count the number of times that I became afraid of things I couldn't identify. I remember waking up from my bed and running into my parents' room and crawling into bed with them because I was afraid of something...Something I couldn't identify, perhaps ghosts. Perhaps, I was waking from a terrible dream but fear became a regular reality.
Growing up, I was afraid of getting in trouble with my family. I was afraid of getting in trouble at school. I was afraid that I had lost my friendship with my childhood "blood-sister" and we remain friends today and it has been wonderful. I was afraid of never being asked to the prom. (I was never asked, but I got over that.) I was fearful of my first day at college but I met my two friends Cheri and Lori and we have been friends for over 40 years. I was fearful of my first "professional" job at IBM but the three men I worked for (they know who they are...) trusted me and encouraged me every step of the way. ("Thank you PK and Glen and Barbar." : ) I was always fearful of disappointing those I loved.
There were many directors from my theater life that believed in me even when I was completely afraid. I stepped forward and forged ahead anyway. My first day in a classroom was beyond scary. I kept my head down and fought for my professional credibility. My teaching career changed me and made me more courageous.
Nothing was more scary than getting married. My husband is the bravest man I have ever met. He looked at me and took a chance. Taking a chance on a relationship is the scariest, most fearful thing anyone can do but it builds faith and it builds love...Or at least it should. He has taught me to confront my fears and clear the walls that it builds. My sisters...are brave women. They have been challenged. They have evolved and they have found their strength through developing their passions and keeping focused. They are very much like my mother and my grandmother. Heritage breeds courage. Heritage breeds fear-busting.
Fear manifests itself in so many ways. Sickness and health build fear when issues surface and you lack the experience to ask the right questions and survive. We survive by listening and we survive by not sticking our heads in the sand and listening to those who know better than we do. Facing health issues that could potentially bring us to an "earthly transition" are scary but the long we live, the more we understand human nature and nature in general. We cannot escape the inevitable. The only thing we can do is embrace the present tense. This is what fear teaches us. This is what it has taught me.
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