2014 - Stretching the "Comfort Zone"

"Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness." -William Shakespeare

I don't know about you but I'm happy to see 2013 go.  "Buh bye."   "Don't let the door hit you in the behind on the way out..."  I'm always hopeful and I'm always impatient for the new year to come.  Every year I think to myself, "I can't wait!  It's going to be the best year ever!  Woo hoo...Someone get me a horn!"   This year, it's not the year, it's the day I care about...it's the day.  I care about a day at a time...no more, no less.  That is very difficult to do and requires stepping out of one's comfort zone.  Old habits die hard.

2013 was a year of living with great fulfillment and challenges.  So much was left unfinished. So many questions left unanswered globally, locally and everything else in between.  Friends were laid off from the jobs they've had for over 30 years.  Some came down with serious illnesses and had the tenacity and the character to handle their plight with grace, strength and intelligence. They didn't do it alone either.  As the waning days of 2013 linger, we are reminded that so many have had to overcome so much and yet, here we all are...We are here in spite of ourselves.  What a warm comfortable feeling that is.  We made it into another year and none of us knows what lies in store. 

I always marvel when a new year comes and when an old one is gone like a whirlwind.  I try to figure out how I've changed or if I've changed.  My weight hasn't changed in 15 years.  I change my hair color with the change of seasons.  No matter how hard we try to fight the process of aging, there it is, staring at us in the mirror, our faces are the ultimate truth serum.  

I care about today.  I don't much care about tomorrow.  I care about how I've made others feel.  I care about whether I spent my "one day a time", feeling sorry for myself or gloriously engaging in the present; enjoying what I have and with whom I share it all.  On certain days I'm more successful than others. In 2013, I started finding my voice and continue to be heard in my way, a way that works for me and only me. Those are the days I hope to repeat in 2014.  

2014.   Let this be year, we become smarter, and bolder.  Let us laugh a lot harder and become larger than our previous life.  Let us not be fearful or hesitate to speak our minds and open our hearts.  Live one day at a time and remember to rest, relax and slow down long enough to listen to our own heart beat.  Our eyes and our heart show us and tell us all we need to know about what's important.  In 2014, reach out of your comfort zone and listen to what your inner voice is saying, then follow it.  This is how we create change.  This is how we rise above old routines and create a new set of healthier values.  Once the ball drops in Times Square tonight, pick it up metaphorically and run with it.  That's why we watch it each year. 

In 2014, we will most likely not get everything we desire. We will be faced with challenges. Like it or not, our landscapes will change and the sun and moon will cast their shadows and light our way. Let this year be a year of more kindness, more compassion and common sense. Let us have a conscience. This is my wish for 2014.  Happy new year everyone!

The "Scrooge" in us all.

Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. "Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The deals of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!” ― Charles Dickens- A Christmas Carol.

I am about to admit something shameful.  I left my house the other day and drove the long way to work...on purpose. It started when the alarm went off and I took my sheets and blankets and covered my head. I got up, tripped over my cat Mojo and a pair of slippers my husband left on the floor in a most inconvenient place. The coffee pot hadn't started. I had the worst "hair day ever."  I left the warmth of my house frustrated with my entire life. I didn't want to defrost my car.  I didn't want to go to work.  I didn't want to face my students. I didn't want to grade another essay or exam.  As I was chipping the ice off my windows, I hated even thinking about Christmas or the holidays.  And then it hit me...How had I become "Scrooge?"

Scrooge is one of my all time favorite characters of literature.  He resonates with me.  Scrooge is more like us than we would like to admit.  He put a great deal of importance on work and money.  Financial goals were very important to him.  He loved money. Does any of this sound familiar?  The financial industry had a lot of "Scrooges" over the past decade.  His time with family was truly limited.  How many of us sit down together at the dinner table any more?  He was afraid to love and afraid to be be vulnerable.  How many of us have found ourselves in that position at one time or another.  Scrooge was afraid of his innate humanity.  It's not until he is forced to look at his past and every decision he made in his youth that he understands that everything in his life was a matter of his choice.  He had been afraid to love.  He had been afraid to find happiness.  Now with the ghost of "Christmas Past, Christmas Present and Christmas Future" at his side, he realizes that when we love, we are indeed rich.

I am Scrooge.  We are all Scrooge.  We all learn the hard lessons.  We have all been afraid of the very things that are good for us. We all have ghosts.  We are often asked to give more of ourselves than we may be comfortable doing.  Yet when we do, we feel better about ourselves and our fellow man. And, our fellow man in turn feels much more comfortable around us.  Scrooge learned to care about others but not before he realized that others had in fact, cared about him.  He had just made the conscious choice of not seeing how much they cared.  I know a lot of people like this.  I look at those people and with all sincere faith hope they realize how much they are cared for before it's too late.

I am Scrooge.  As I drove into the school parking lot, I realized that I was in fact not in a mindful place of gratitude.  Then it occurred to me that I had been indeed grateful in the past and could be again if I just remembered how good gratitude felt.  If Scrooge could be moved by his own life and loves to change, I could certainly do the same.  The ghosts, my ghosts would be on my side.  Yours can be too if you have the courage to see them.  Christmas this year, will not be about things.  I have things.  Plenty of things. Christmas will be about measuring my gratitude for all of the good and all of the bad. Challenges are the best gifts.  The painful or bad experiences make us better people. Sometimes they make us bitter but if Scrooge could overcome his bitterness, so can we.   If you watch the news, we see every day how good often conquers a tragedy.  People rise and come forth to do the right and honorable thing.  We are all Scrooge. 

Scrooge.  I grabbed my book bag of essays, and exams and pens and pencils and trudged through the heavy school doors, up the stairs and into my classroom.  On the bulletin board behind my chair, was a Christmas card from a student of mine from last year.  I had hung it there and forgot about it.  But there it was, in full view now.  I was again, living in the present, with a huge smile on my face.  "Christmas Past" was staring at me.  "Christmas Present" was helping me to face the hectic day ahead.  Marley, Scrooge's partner appears to him and warns him of the following: “I wear the chain I forged in life....I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”  Life is about free will and I was about to use mine.  Let the holidays be about Scrooge and his reversal of bitterness.  Let Christmas not be about things but about kindness and love and respect.  As Scrooge is transformed,let us be as well.  

Merry Christmas all!!!  Love to you and yours!  Find peace and happiness in the little things...Embrace your inner Scrooge.