"2020 Vision"

"Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man."  -Benjamin Franklin

I woke up this morning with the purring of my "feline domesticus" rubbing my face with her paw.  As I opened one eye at time, it became clear that with one day left of 2019, I am never sorry to see a year pass. I am now, more grateful for the present tense of life, such as it is. The road to 2020 vision has been a painful one and I am grateful.

When a year passes, we get the opportunity to put all of our transgressions, arguments, and frustrations behind us.  We survived them.  We conquered and battled the issues of the day...from impeachment, to the democratic beauty contest still under way to the confrontation of our own personal challenges.  I used to believe, foolishly, that if things didn't work out my way, then not only was I a failure, but others were indeed wrong because my way was the right way.  I was offended easily and discouraged easily. I had very little patience for other people's time tables.  I very rarely walked in someone else's shoes.  Over the past decade or more, all of that has gradually gone by the wayside because I realized that none of that behavior was working for me or my happiness.  I didn't have 2020 vision, I had tunnel vision.  Marriage and teaching changed all of that...in multiple and yes, exhausting ways.  Change is painful.  Change makes us wise.

The end of 2019 has been startling with many people from my past returning with a wonderful, and emotional welcome and quite by chance.  I am now reminded that those wonderful memories of the past, created the part of me that loves unconditionally. I am again reminded of how important adventures are. Hindsight gives us 2020 vision too.

Resolutions be damned.  It's our vision, and our present day mindfulness that keeps us on a path to sanity.  I have realized that if I put on foot in front of the other, it is also my choice to walk or run.  Either way, it's my choice no one else's.  I am not going to look forward to a new year, I am going to live in the present one.  That takes hard work.  Worrying about anything ahead of "today" is exhausting and the more tired we get, the less we have to be grateful for in the here and now.  Trust me, I have known tired.  I think we all have known tired.

In a matter of hours, a new year, a new decade, will be here for all of us. The year of 2020.  I hope it brings all of us a clear sense of vision. I hope our priorities include those who are in need.  I hope 2020 puts us in the present tense, forgetting about the pains and the frustrations of the past.  May 2020 give us the strength to find new purpose and adventure, either physically or emotionally. May we make decisions with careful thought, not impulse...with careful thought, not in frustration.  2020, the year of perfect vision, for all of us.