“... to be in any sort of relationship where you do not express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person and will never be balanced or healthy.”― The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
Here it is June, 2020. Three months of sheltering in place has been beyond difficult. You can profess to love and honor the one you love and then a real challenge stares you both in the face. What happens then? How do you both find the patience and the understanding to withstand each other, now that all of your routine has changed.
It would be easy to constantly argue and find as many reasons to leave as there is to stay. I now firmly believe that most couples go through a bought or two of "If only..." But here's some other challenges for couples who married for better or worse:
-
Never argue about who is going to get up at 4:30 a.m. to feed the cats. We all recongize who knows how to work the system AND...if both of you love and appreciate those kitty efforts...you've won. That goes for cleaning the litter box too.
- One or the other will ALWAYS want to clean more than the other. Tip...housework NEVER ends. It NEVER, EVER will end so one or the other has to suck it up and do the triage.
- If one or the other has different sleep patterns support that difference. Let them watch "Ray Donovan" or "Sex in the City," or some of the fabulous movies of the 70's to the 90's such as "Animal House or The Secret of My Succes. I will never get tired of John Belushi's, "See if you can guess what I am now..."
- If one or the other falls asleep by 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. no judgement.
- Kiss or hug your partner at least once or maybe twice a day...even when you hate them or they hate you.
- Change the sheets once a week. Yes, it's necessary. No whinning.
- When one or the other cooks better than the other...let them. Clean up afterwards. It's the least you can do considering they well...cook better than you do.
- Support each other's passions and interests. It is possible to be as different as night and day and perhaps, with a little patience, we learn something new that we didn't know before we exchanged rings.
- If one or the other can't admit they are wrong...Know it anyway and forgive.
- Like a hurricane, everything passes and when it's over, assess the mess and clean it up and rebuild.
- If you have a favorite television show, that's a win-win! Always!
- Never discuss who said, "I love you," first. It so does NOT matter as long as each of you says it.
The world is quite different these days. We do not have to tolerate injustice or disrespect from anyone. Having said that, by this point during this horrible, horrific time in history, love is love. Those who are fortunate to have found a partnership and a love that is reciprocal have won.
“... to be in any sort of relationship where you do not express yourself, simply to keep the peace, is a relationship ruled by one person and will never be balanced or healthy.”― The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
Here it is June, 2020. Three months of sheltering in place has been beyond difficult. You can profess to love and honor the one you love and then a real challenge stares you both in the face. What happens then? How do you both find the patience and the understanding to withstand each other, now that all of your routine has changed.
It would be easy to constantly argue and find as many reasons to leave as there is to stay. I now firmly believe that most couples go through a bought or two of "If only..." But here's some other challenges for couples who married for better or worse:
- Never argue about who is going to get up at 4:30 a.m. to feed the cats. We all recongize who knows how to work the system AND...if both of you love and appreciate those kitty efforts...you've won. That goes for cleaning the litter box too.
- One or the other will ALWAYS want to clean more than the other. Tip...housework NEVER ends. It NEVER, EVER will end so one or the other has to suck it up and do the triage.
- If one or the other has different sleep patterns support that difference. Let them watch "Ray Donovan" or "Sex in the City," or some of the fabulous movies of the 70's to the 90's such as "Animal House or The Secret of My Succes. I will never get tired of John Belushi's, "See if you can guess what I am now..."
- If one or the other falls asleep by 8:30 or 9:00 p.m. no judgement.
- Kiss or hug your partner at least once or maybe twice a day...even when you hate them or they hate you.
- Change the sheets once a week. Yes, it's necessary. No whinning.
- When one or the other cooks better than the other...let them. Clean up afterwards. It's the least you can do considering they well...cook better than you do.
- Support each other's passions and interests. It is possible to be as different as night and day and perhaps, with a little patience, we learn something new that we didn't know before we exchanged rings.
- If one or the other can't admit they are wrong...Know it anyway and forgive.
- Like a hurricane, everything passes and when it's over, assess the mess and clean it up and rebuild.
- If you have a favorite television show, that's a win-win! Always!
- Never discuss who said, "I love you," first. It so does NOT matter as long as each of you says it.
The world is quite different these days. We do not have to tolerate injustice or disrespect from anyone. Having said that, by this point during this horrible, horrific time in history, love is love. Those who are fortunate to have found a partnership and a love that is reciprocal have won.
No comments:
Post a Comment