The "Clause" Effect

"Of course there is a Santa Claus. It's just that no single somebody could do all he has to do. So the Lord has spread the task among us all. That's why everybody is Santa Claus. I am. You are." - Truman Capote

     So, the last couple of years have been the most difficult in my 56 years.  Life had become very grave and very serious and there was not one single thing I could do about it. What do you do when your world has so much churning and turning and worry and the anxiety is at times very difficult to process?  "This is life Claude," as my Mom and my sisters would tell me. I knew they were right and I also learned that one thing is certain...nothing is permanent.  I had become inwardly jaded and discouraged. It was all very serious. So what can someone do to rise above those difficult times? Well, I'll tell you...Volunteer and when asked, play "Mrs. Clause" to full houses with your community theater.

     After 30 plus years of performing in front of many audiences, this was different.  I had no lines.  No blocking to remember. There were no rehearsals. I simply was fitted for my "Mrs. Clause" costume and entered after the performance of "A Charlie Brown Christmas," walk down the center aisle of the theater and wave and laugh and tell the audience that I was indeed wishing them a healthy and happy holiday season.  Simple. "Easy peasy." What I wasn't prepared for was the over-whelming happiness and joy that simple task would bring into my life.

It started with the red dress with a white lace collar and the apron. Then the white wig with an adorable bun and curls made me breath differently. I was smiling almost tearful.  As I walked down the aisle, I could feel all of my past worries and hurt leave me.  All I could feel was joy, love and an acceptance of all the experiences in my life that had previously haunted me.  I felt strong.  I felt relieved and I felt love. 

     I felt the love of my husband who patiently became a theater widow for the weekend.  I felt the love of my mother, my father who is watching us from above, my sisters and all of the good friends I have who have never left me no matter how much I drove them crazy.  I felt more love of the theater than ever before simply because, this was not a part to play, but more of a joyous act of love. Love of children, their families and humanity.

     As I walked off the stage and handed candy out to the children who came, there were more surprises.  There were photos, selfies, and multiple hugs from the innocent. The little ones eyes wide and loving and accepting. "Mrs. Clause" meant freedom. "Mrs. Clause meant that generous and loving self we all have but can lose all too easily if we are not careful.   Wearing that costume took away everyone's stress and worries. I thought to myself, "Then it's time to get rid of mine."  I was allowed to purge any negativity that I had been carrying with me and without realizing it, had been affecting me and my relationships each and every day.

     Life is challenging. Life can be heart-breaking and harsh.  None of us can live any amount of years without sadness or some despair. We somehow find that Herculean strength to keep going.  We make the decision to keep our heads down and give everything time to heal.  

     To my theater friends, old and new, you gave me the greatest gift of 2017.  To those in my inner, inner circle, I love you more today than I did yesterday and appreciate every step we have taken together.  The costume is now hung and will be stored in the hallows of the theater's storage facility. However, the joy and comfort and will to be a better person, and love the life I have been given is not stored.  It is more alive than ever.  My heart is open and ready to face whatever may come my way with gratitude.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! May the holidays bring you those opportunities to share love and be the best of humanity.