The day I was born was a worrisome situation. Being my own overly anxious self, I decided to come into this world a week early, five pounds was my birth weight. Literally, I was no more than a bag of sugar. I was put into an incubator for a spell.(I guess that was probably everyone's first sign that I needed to have some boundaries.) HA! When my mom and dad brought me home, my mother jokingly said to my grandmother, "Maria, she's so tiny. What are we going to do?" My grandmother, 4', 9" tall said, "Micky, we'll keep her."
When I reached two or three years of age. I would not stay in my crib. I would use my legs to push the crib away from the wall and hoist myself over the side. Clearly, I would not be contained nor would I be protected. That was only the beginning. When I was four, I left the yard and walked about a quarter mile to the neighbor's house to play with my friend Mitchell. When I was four, I also decided I could ride the very tame, sweet, horse owned by the farmer who borders our property by coaxing him with carrots and then use the rope I found to lasso him and go for my ride. Clearly, I had no awareness of my height or petite stature. I just wanted to "do stuff." My parents' hair turned gray in those years.
I've learned through the decades that height plays an incredible role in people's perception of you. There are experts who say that those of the petite stature, are less likely be taken seriously. They are less likely to be promoted on the job. They vie for the attention and the voice that others readily get because, well, it's easier to speak someone eye to eye and ignore the voices that may be brewing below you. Those who are "vertically challenged" are very rarely listened to because, if we are mature, if we are respectful, listening does NOT become an issue.
I learned through the years that I would compensate for my height, by being funny. I would be larger than life or at least larger than the average life. Those who are petite stay younger by nature because everyone treats them as though they're younger and for years, I loved that because that meant I didn't have to think for myself. I only had to worry about what others thought. And I did. I worried.
I carried the "Peter Pan Syndrome" for years. I refused to grow because I just had it too good. I was protected. I was loved. But it took decades for me to accept adulthood as the natural order of life. As I entered the "real world," I realized that nobody would take me seriously, if I didn't. By the time I reached 25, "nuggies" were getting tiresome. I lost my sense of humor but not my sense of adventure. It would take years before I realized that humor was a true, true salvation and that humor above anything else is vitally important no matter what you're experiencing.
When there is something physically different about a person, we forget often that they are human beings. Now I say this with an understanding of human nature that I didn't have while I was growing up. Being different, means that not only are you a great conversation piece but you never have to look far for a chance to change a perception or an opinion. I knew I was different. Sometimes I asked for more attention than was welcome. That's what happens when you're different. People gravitate towards pointing out the obvious even if the obvious was not necessarily obvious to me. That took maturity.
As I teach each year, I witness first hand how difficult it is for any of the young people I teach to enjoy their obvious differences. Then they spend their time with me and hopefully realize that being different is a blessing. Being different is their door to their future interests and passions. At least that's what I discovered. By the time I was 18 years of age the school had voted me "most individualistic" for the year book. I was also voted the most humorous. How I wish my students, my kids saw that there's always a way to hold to individuality instead of giving it away for the sake of acceptance.
I married a man who appreciates individuality. It took a while for that to evolve mainly because I had to let go of my hurt that I would never be like anyone else. At least that's what I thought as I matured. Thankfully, my family always appreciated my individuality. How I wish with all of my heart that we could embrace differences instead of stating the obvious.
I turned 52 this past weekend and the only thing I could think about is that I made it this far in spite of all that fight to be like everyone else. With every birthday, I find less and less regret and more and more acceptance of what is. You don't height to reach heights. You simply need to believe.
So, to conclude, "I'm fun size." I believe in fun and being different. "Fun size" means that I am just enough for this world. We are all "enough" as long as our hearts are in the right place.
When there is something physically different about a person, we forget often that they are human beings. Now I say this with an understanding of human nature that I didn't have while I was growing up. Being different, means that not only are you a great conversation piece but you never have to look far for a chance to change a perception or an opinion. I knew I was different. Sometimes I asked for more attention than was welcome. That's what happens when you're different. People gravitate towards pointing out the obvious even if the obvious was not necessarily obvious to me. That took maturity.
As I teach each year, I witness first hand how difficult it is for any of the young people I teach to enjoy their obvious differences. Then they spend their time with me and hopefully realize that being different is a blessing. Being different is their door to their future interests and passions. At least that's what I discovered. By the time I was 18 years of age the school had voted me "most individualistic" for the year book. I was also voted the most humorous. How I wish my students, my kids saw that there's always a way to hold to individuality instead of giving it away for the sake of acceptance.
I married a man who appreciates individuality. It took a while for that to evolve mainly because I had to let go of my hurt that I would never be like anyone else. At least that's what I thought as I matured. Thankfully, my family always appreciated my individuality. How I wish with all of my heart that we could embrace differences instead of stating the obvious.
I turned 52 this past weekend and the only thing I could think about is that I made it this far in spite of all that fight to be like everyone else. With every birthday, I find less and less regret and more and more acceptance of what is. You don't height to reach heights. You simply need to believe.
So, to conclude, "I'm fun size." I believe in fun and being different. "Fun size" means that I am just enough for this world. We are all "enough" as long as our hearts are in the right place.
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